I'm very excited to have over 500 followers on Twitter, after only joining a month ago. I must be doing something right..right? Well, I have a tendency to be pretty hard on myself, and even put myself down sometimes. But, since I've been eating right, exercising, and having a bit more time for myself- I'm starting to see things more clearly, and realise just what an amazing life I have had. I can now look objectively at all the things I have achieved in my 38 years.
Not least, everything I have done in my short time back in the UK. "My High Street Wedding" was not only a fabulous achievement in terms of getting my dream Wedding on a budget ( £500) when the national average is around £16k, I also promoted over 45 local businesses, go people excited about shopping locally, kicked off a campaign to 'save the high street' , which in turn kick-started the revival of the Friday Market, and the new Suitcase sellers. I also got my story into local , and National Press including a feature in 'Fabulous' Magazine in the Sun Newspaper- and a number of other Women's mags. We made a public appearance at Collett Park festival, and I have even been asked to compere the event next year. Having landed my weekly column in The Shepton Mallet Journal, I was then offered my fab new full page column in 'It' magazine. And I was even guest judge at Croscombe Dog show- along with James Heapey MP. Oh , and trust me- judging a dog show is harder than it looks. My four year old got bitten by a Jack Russel, my six year old got peed on by a Labrador, and my husband ended up on poop cleaning duties- dogs and kids! It was quite good fun though. From the outside, I bet everyone thinks I am well-off, a bit glamorous, successful, happy and fulfilled. I mean, that's the image I try to portray - on social media- it's especially easy to edit and show the highlights. However, I'm close to financial breaking point. Not getting paid for any of the things I do, and relying on child benefit and tax credits ( which have just been slashed in half) I only shop for clothes in charity shops, or Primark for a special treat - but the bus fare costs £7 so it's hardly worth the trip. I rely on selling clothes and the kids old toys online, to make ends meet. Buy food which is reduced , economy brand or on offer in Aldis and Lidl. It really sucks! I want to feel abundant, and worthy. I want to flick through mags and think " Oh, I could get those boots on pay day" or " Hmm I might try that new skin cream!" . I want to eat at Yo Sushi, and sometimes go out for a romantic meal with my hubby, or take the kids to the cinema. I can't help feeling full of regret and dismay that after so many years of studying- gaining A-levels, Degrees, Diplomas, learning new languages, having my own business, doing years of unpaid work experience placements,having owned bought and sold properties, and living abroad, having children, having a promising media career at the BBC and then being a well paid lecturer and public speaker. How can it be fair, that I am now struggling to make ends meet, and am scanning the jobs pages- considering low paid, menial jobs, in industries which do not excite me. Well. I didn't have much choice when my youngest was in nursery- childcare costs are ridiculous, and I made a conscious choice to spend quality time with my kids anyway. But now, both boys are at school. I think...I know I am ready to get back out there. But will anyone give me a second glance? I'm no 23 year old recent graduate. I'm not prepared to work for peanuts, and start at the very bottom of any ladder. I am highly skilled, educated, intelligent, and now have a whole heap of life experience behind me too. I do have kids, so my family and work life balance must be taken into account, and I won't risk burn out, by slogging away at something fruitless or unrewarding. A creative Industry - PR, Events or Marketing would suit be down to the ground, as long as the company was ethical. But, can I even afford to be picky? I know I have a lot to offer. And given the chance- I'd blow most of these twenty something 'fresh out of uni' candidates out of the water. Now, I just have to figure out how to get noticed in the first place. I am quite prepared to take on any challenge or task, to prove myself. I'm not scared of trying. I'm ready to shine. The scariest thing in the world to me- would be to not be the the most utterly fabulous me I can be . So, watch out world..here I come!
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For most of us mum's it's been an emotional week. The kids have gone back to school, some for the first time- others into a new school or year group. And while they have driven us crazy over the holidays, we miss them now! I admit to having a a little cry, whilst looking at old photos of the boys and wondering where the all the time went.
However, I have to admit I'm looking forward to having a bit of 'me' time at last. After the staggered start, for my youngest, who's starting reception. I'll have so much more time, to pursue my own interests and passions. I've always loved writing, and hope to make a full time career from it, eventually. Writing for the Journal has been brilliant, and now I have my very first full page column in a glossy mag. 'It' Magazine, produced by Local World Media, is a new Women's magazine for Somerset! You can pick up a complimentary copy at the Well's Journal offices, or in local News agents and Supermarkets. This issue features My High Street Wedding, and mentions a lot of Shepton Mallet Businesses. It's a thoroughly good read too. At last, something for Women like me. I'm too old for teenage & twenty something publications. With school aged kids, 'Mother & Baby' is no longer relevant. I find the Celebrity focused, body shaming mags annoying, and the glamorous fashion magazines pretentious. I just want something reasonably priced, cultured, inspirational, with good quality writing and interesting features. “It' fits the bill. |
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